Two-For-One

• Artist: Red Animal War, Slowride
  
• Album: Red Animal War|Slowride
  
• Year: 2002
  
• Why I picked it up: When I first looked at it it seemed like a rather boring cover, until I looked at the back cover and the inside of the insert. The album artwork and the CD artwork all had something relating to the Kennedy assassination, which was a cool concept for the album art.

Whoops, I accidentally bought a split EP, so there are two artists on this album, not one. Oh well, you guys are getting a special two-for-one edition of Igor and the Whale (which is good, since Igor doesn't seem to like to update over the summer). Red Animal War has a really nice sound, with punk rock vocals and catchy lyrics, sung along excellent guitar riffs, solid and varied drums, and a consistently strong (although subtle) bass line. Somewhat complimenting them, Slowride is a strong rock band, with good driving guitars, steady drums, and a nice bassist and singer. The problem is that the way the EP is laid out--with the tracks by each artist alternating one after another--makes the Red Animal War tracks way overshadow the Slowride tracks. The Slowride tracks aren't bad, it's just that when the were played between Red Animal War tracks they don't stand out enough on their own.

I really enjoyed Red Animal War (it was very tough to choose a standout track among their three, I liked them all), I hope to get more of their stuff sometime.

Red Animal War

• Standout track: Modus Operendi
  
• MySpace: Red Animal War
  
• Rating: 4/5

Slowride

• Standout track: Dear John
  
• MySpace: Slowride
  
• Rating: 3/5
  
  
• How much I would've paid: $6 (mostly for the Red Animal War tracks)

It Seems Like Something My Dad Would Like

• Artist: The Palladinos
  
• Album: Travelling Dark
  
• Year: 1994
  
• Why I picked it up: The cover had a very pretty stained glass picture on it of a woman walking a path of brightly colored rocks, and I thought it looked interesting. There was an offhand chance that it might be metal.

The Palladinos have a sound which is very noteable, but I'm having trouble describing it. It's one of those banana/pomegranate issues, if you will. It's a folksy rock sound, I guess. I keep getting strong hippie vibes as I listen to it (but not in a trippy way). The vocalists have very strong and steady voices, and they're obviously very secure in their sound. The mandolin on the handful of tracks it is featured in is pretty nifty. Overall, pretty nice slow-ish calm rock that is appealing, if a little dated.

What's cool is that in the liner notes, next to each song's title is the key in which it was written.

• Standout track: Moon On The Motorway
  
• MySpace: N/A
  
• How much I would've paid: $2
  
• Rating: 3/5

Three Guitarists, a Bassist, a Singer, and a Drummer

• Artist: Circuit
  
• Album: Eau De Humanity
  
• Year: 2006
  
• Why I picked it up: The cover has a bottle floating in what I assume is the perfume "Eau De Humanity." I wondered what the smell of humanity sounded like... I think.

Circuit is a typical rock band that plays a very classic guitar focused sound, which is full of complex riffs that display the guitarists' talents. The vocalist has the common powerful, mid ranged voice that is found in classic rock. What I find to be the biggest fault in the band is that the bass, drums, and keyboards that are listed in the liner notes are very insubstantial. However, the collection of songs is, nonetheless, very strong. The album contains power anthems, as well as the rock ballads with the changed up slower tempo and dampened vocals. Circuit also has their fair share of harder post-grunge/alt rock songs (with slightly less technical guitar riffs) of the type that filled the late 90s so much.

I guess my final verdict on the "Eau De Humanity" is... that it smells nice?

• Standout track: Reasoning
  
• MySpace: Circuit
  
• How much I would've paid: $5
  
• Rating: 3/5

"Hard working and underslept, But lazy at heart"

• Artist: Small Sins
  
• Album: Mood Swings
  
• Year: 2007
  
• Why I picked it up: The image of the short barreled gun on the cover was interesting, and it wrapped around the case to the back following the trajectory of the bullet and I liked it. Seemed like possibly some punk rock.

Small Sins was not what I was expecting, but I'm far from disappointed. It's a nice calming indie rock, often with electronic overtones. The sound frequently gave off a strong Killers vibe, which was really nice. The album contains a really good mix of up-beat songs, such as the heavily electronic "Drunk E-Mails" or the less electronic but slightly country-tinged "On The Run," and slower songs, like the downtrodden "We Will Break Our Own Hearts" or "On A Mission." It has a high chance to become a common listening staple on my iPod. As with Morello and Angel and the Love Mongers previously, I highly suggest Small Sins.

What's really sweet is that the CD came with two bonus tracks on the CD extra portion, an acoustic version of "I Need A Friend" and a string mix of "Bullets."

• Standout track: On The Line
  
• MySpace: Small Sins
  
• How much I would've paid: $10
  
• Rating: 4/5

I think Chris Trapper has self-image issues

• Artist: Chris Trapper
  
• Album: Hey, You
  
• Year: 2006
  
• Why I picked it up: The instrument list gave off a strong indie/acoustic rock vibe, with a few standard instruments and a few more unusual ones (what is a bouzouki anyways?)

Overall, this is a pretty good album. A decent part of me, however, would love to just write a typical "generic but decent rock" review, but somehow that doesn't seem fair. While on the surface the music is in fact nothing more than generic rock, something about it seems deeper. It's hard to describe, really, although it no doubt has a lot to do with Trapper's truly inspired orchestration. The album's biggest failing is that most of the songs sound pretty similar, giving it that samey flavor that makes so many albums forgettable. Fortunately, this album seems like it'll stand up better given time than many others.

Incidentally, a bouzouki is a Greek stringed instrument similar to a mandolin. The more you know!

• Standout track: Feelings Without Weight
  
• MySpace: Chris Trapper
  
• How much I would've paid: $6
  
• Rating: 4/5

Typical, Just Typical

• Artist: The Adored
  
• Album: A New Language
  
• Year: 2006
  
• Why I picked it up: From the cover and such it gave off a large new wave rock vibe that I figured I would dig. Here's hoping...

Yup, The Adored's sound is the very mainstream new wave/powerpop/indie rock that so many bands nowadays are working with. Amongst all these other bands with similar sounds, The Adored do not stand out in any way. Their vocalist sounds so overly generic, and musically it's completely typical. If you haven't listened to any of the new mainstream sound, The Adored would be a good introduction, but you could quickly move on to bigger and better bands. If you already have your favorite powerpop/rock band decided, The Adored will not break through into your music collection.

It's not all that bad, really, just unoriginal and the songs sound quite alike.

• Standout track: Chemistry
  
• MySpace: The Adored
  
• How much I would've paid: $5
  
• Rating: 3/5

Do King Cobras?

• Artist: Vending Machine
  
• Album: King Cobras Do
  
• Year: 2007
  
• Why I picked it up: The drawings on the covers looked like little kid drawings, which was fun and gave the impression that there might be nice indie rock inside.

Vending Machine is the name for the very nice alternative rock artist Robby Grant, and he has quite a unique sound. I fail to describe it, but I certainly do enjoy listening to him. His sound consists of nice synths, guitars, drums, and other typical instruments, with the synth (when he employs the use of a synth) and vocals being especially excellent. The album starts off amazingly with quite a few excellent upbeat tracks, but it goes down hill halfway through, and the later tracks do not measure up to the quality of the first few.

Yeah, I can't really think of more to say about this CD. It's good, and that's that.

• Standout track: Babies
  
• MySpace: Vending Machine
  
• How much I would've paid: $5
  
• Rating: 3/5

Magnethead

• Artist: Magnet School
  
• Album: Tonight We Drink... Tomorrow We Battle The Evil At Hand
  
• Year: 2007
  
• Why I picked it up: I was feeling in the mood for some electronica, and the disco ball on the cover led me to believe at worse I'd be getting some club dance music.

Magnet School is very competent rock highly reminiscent of Radiohead and similar bands. To a lot of people––myself included––this is a very good thing (I rank OK Computer in my top five albums of all time). That said, they have their own sound a lot of the time as well, but it's hard to not draw comparisons when listening to the larger-than-life guitars and vocals that sound like they're simply fighting to be heard. Ultimately, the album boils down to what so many of these albums do: it's an enjoyable listen, but you won't remember it for long. If you're a big fan of the sound, though, I recommend you track down this album.

Fun fact: This album is put out by the label "Exploded Hooker Music".

• Standout track: Seventensplit
  
• MySpace: Magnet School
  
• How much I would've paid: $5
  
• Rating: 3/5

Pottery People

• Artist: The Henry Clay People
  
• Album: For Cheap or For Free
  
• Year: 2008
  
• Why I picked it up: The ever-present quest for indie rock continues in the album artwork. That, and The Whale didn't want it because of a big-ass sticker on the front.

The quest for excellent indie rock finally ends with The Henry Clay People, a truly amazing collection of 11 fantastic songs. It's pretty standard affair: guitars, drums, vocals, with a few more instruments thrown in for good measure. All of the instrumentation clicks, and nothing feels out of place. Of course, even a good album can suffer with poor vocals, but lead singer Andy Siara sounds nearly identical to Craig Minowa of Cloud Cult, a band I truly love. Of course, not everyone will agree, but I think that The Henry Clay People are well deserving of Igor and the Whale's first five.

To replace the indie quest, I'll next be searching for Swedish death electrocountry. Stay tuned!

• Standout track: Rock and Roll Has Lost Its Teeth
  
• MySpace: The Henry Clay People
  
• How much I would've paid: $15
  
• Rating: 5/5

Just tell them you're busy that night

• Artist: The Smithereens
  
• Album: A Date With The Smithereens
  
• Year: 1994
  
• Why I picked it up: The cover gave off the strong vibe that it would be some sort of rock, possibly hard rock or punk, and it looked classic enough that I would enjoy it.

The Smithereens are more from the hard-rock/post-grunge sound of the early 90s that was completely played out back then. The sound wasn't fantastic back then, and it's still not so great today. The Smithereens can do this sound as good as any other does, but that doesn't let them stand out in any way. It feels like every song is very similar, with the reverbed guitars, slow and steady drums, unsubstantial bass, and droning vocals spouting emotional and "dark" lyrics. It's pretty evident that the singer is trying to break up before this Date is even through. Each track's lyrics are sad or depressing, but since the general singing style in this genre is this low, sad, droning voice, the lyrics' point gets lost. Overall, not worth it. If you like the genre, this will be too much of the average to become a staple in your listening line up.

Two quick dating tips: don't tell her you two are "going nowhere" and don't tell her that "love is gone."

• Standout track: Love Is Gone
  
• MySpace: The Smithereens
  
• How much I would've paid: $2
  
• Rating: 2/5

I usually sunburn when I sun dry

• Artist: The Surf The Sundried
  
• Album: The Surf The Sundried
  
• Year: 2003
  
• Why I picked it up: My quest for indie rock continued yet again with yet another indie rock-ish cover.

This one's actually a pretty tricky one to write. The Surf The Sundried have a very nice sound, with quiet acoustic guitar, subdued drums, and very excellent vocals. About half of the album is standard-but-excellent quiet indie rock. The problem is the other half of the album, which is much more in the realm of noise. Sometimes noise can work, but other times it really doesn't. The mixture of truly excellent music with dissidence simply isn't one that works out very well, which really hurts the album. At over an hour long, this misstep turns into a major problem.

Also, can we pass a law forbidding untitled tracks? Thanks.

• Standout track: Stealth Bomber
  
• MySpace: The Surf The Sundried
  
• How much I would've paid: $5
  
• Rating: 3/5

"Fallatious words of a snake"

• Artist: Two Ton Boa
  
• Album: Parasiticide
  
• Year: 2006
  
• Why I picked it up: The album cover was really cool, with a gorgon like-head, only some snake heads are replaced with plugs, which adds to the image of the electricity pylons in the background

Two Ton Boa is a competent rock band with a unique sound. Unique, but not always great. There are certainly a few tracks which are definitely very well done, but there are also enough tracks which simply shouldn't have been recorded. The trite bass lines are too simplistic to be drawing, and the guitar also ends up being typically too downplayed. There is much too much focus on the vocalist, and since she's not such a good singer--she has two styles: low & droning or high & soft--this equates to many songs not being up to par.

The lead singer also plays the bass, it's a shame she's not too good at either.

• Standout track: Cyanide
  
• MySpace: Two Ton Boa
  
• How much I would've paid: $1
  
• Rating: 2/5

PETA Hates These Guys

• Artist: Ape Hangers
  
• Album: Ultrasounds
  
• Year: 1995
  
• Why I picked it up: The album artwork is a good retro-50s throwback style drawing which I liked a lot.

The Ape Hangers are a pretty good rock band with an almost oldies/surf rock feel to them, albeit a revived and heavier oldies. This is one of those albums that'll have you tapping along to the beats and rocking out. Sure, it's not deep musically or even terribly good, but it's fun. There's music that opens your eyes and changes the way you view what music is, and there's music that just makes you want to smile and dance. This is the latter.

Incidentally, I store fur coats on ape hangers. *rim shot*

• Standout track: Red Hot Rocket
  
• MySpace: Ape Hangers
  
• How much I would've paid: $4
  
• Rating: 4/5

Duct Tape and a Gun

• Artist: Ominous Seapods
  
• Album: The Super Man Curse
  
• Year: 2000
  
• Why I picked it up: The cover has a pretty good picture of the band members watching Clark Kent a Super Man take off. (I see what you did there.)

The Ominous Seapods are a pretty competent rock band with heavy guitar tracks and liberal use of a wah-wah pedal, and the occasional bit of brass thrown in. Overall, it adds up to a pretty good, if slightly generic rock. The biggest issue is that after the disc is done, not many of the songs stick around in the mind. The only highly-memorable song is the comedy track "Bong Hits & Porn," although it is by no means their best. The album also comes with a fantastic three-track live disc, including a great rendition of "Ziggy Stardust." Sure, it's not Bowie himself, but it's still a great listen.

Well, it's Saturday afternoon, I'm gonna go do some bong hits and porn.

• Standout track: Money to Burn
  
• MySpace: Ominous Seapods
  
• How much I would've paid: $5
  
• Rating: 3/5

"I don't want to be imaginary"

• Artist: Angel and the Love Mongers
  
• Album: The Humanist Queen
  
• Year: 2007
  
• Why I picked it up: A friend recommended it when she found it in the store. The long, thin neck of the devilish woman was appealing.
  

Angel Zuniga has a wonderful, distinctive voice. The smooth rock that Angel and the Love Mongers play is very wonderful, with solid and strong bass lines, excellent guitar riffs when they come, and drumming that can remain secure and varied while not overpowering any other instruments. The band also brings in numerous other artists to provide background vocals and more instruments ranging from keyboards to a mandolin. The songs on the album range from being upbeat with "The Humanist Queen" to slower and heavier tracks such as "Let It Be Done," and with mid tempo songs between like "Nikki Hart."

I'll bow to The Humanist Queen

• Standout track: The Humanist Queen
  
• MySpace: Angel and the Love Mongers
  
• How much I would've paid: $10
  
• Rating:

4/5

"Inspiral" is not a word

• Artist: Inspiral Carpets
  
• Album: The Beast Inside
  
• Year: 1991
  
• Why I picked it up: I wasn't sure if "inspiral" was a word, and I wanted to remember to check.

Inspiral Carpets is a fantastic early-90s rock group with an equal mix of guitar, vocals, and synthesizer. Their music is active and full of momentum, even if that sometimes conflicts with the lyrics. Even though it sometimes seems like the music is too upbeat for the frequently dark subject matter, it somehow works. The album does falter a bit near the end, particularly with the too-slow "Niagara", but other than that the album is an exemplar of early-90s synth rock.

Fun fact: The band Oasis took their name from an Inspiral Carpets poster. Thanks, Wikipedia!

• Standout track: Beast Inside
  
• MySpace: Inspiral Carpets
  
• How much I would've paid: $10
  
• Rating: 4/5

Do emotional fish cry saltwater tears?

• Artist: An Emotional Fish
  
• Album: An Emotional Fish
  
• Year: 1990
  
• Why I picked it up: The band's name is An Emotional Fish. An Emotional Fish. How could I resist?

With a calm, soothing rock sound, occasionally mixed with a southern rock or funk tinge, An Emotional Fish provides a wonderful ambient sound to listen to as you work. What's upsetting about them is that they don't leave too much of an impression. While listening to them you get a feeling that An Emotional Fish is a really good band, but once a song ends it's forgotten. The instrumentation is typically simplistic--with uninspired guitar riffs when the come--but mixed together it sounds very well done. The vocals are very clear and powerful, but the lyrics tend towards being a tad boring and tiring. They have a good sound, that's for sure, but they need to make themselves stand out more.

They just fall in line with other U2 sound-alikes.

• Standout track: Grey Matter
  
• MySpace: An Emotional Fish
  
• How much I would've paid: $3
  
• Rating: 3/5

"Sink" Sounds Like "Stink"

• Artist: Eulogy
  
• Album: The Sinking of the Navigator
  
• Year: 2003
  
• Why I picked it up: Album artwork consists of pictures of an abandoned mental hospital in a style that seems like it should be some type of neat subdued rock.

Allow me to put forward a radical hypothesis that would get me killed among hardcore music nerds: Eulogy would sound better if they played Rock Band more often. Mind you, I don't mean that Rock Band can teach you to be a musician, but it can certainly teach you to be a better one. Unfortunately, Eulogy's members can't handle the jobs each position requires. The singer can't hold a pitch, and could use the nice pitch-tracks in Rock Band to get better at that. The drummer can't figure out what a rhythm is, something else Rock Band could help with. The guitarists don't know how to tune, which admittedly Rock Band can't help out with, but at least it can make them know what tuned guitars sound like. I almost feel like the members of Eulogy have heard of music, but they've never actually heard what it sounds like. Maybe that's a little harsh, but it's what they deserve for forming a band made entirely of tone-deaf musicians.

On second thought, maybe they represent a charity for tone-deaf musicians, and my money actually went to help make that worthy cause. Yeah, let's go with that.

• Standout track: The Sinking of the Navigator
  
• MySpace: Eulogy
  
• How much I would've paid: $1 for the last track
  
• Rating: 1/5

"A Festival of Yesterdays"

• Artist: Mythril
  
• Album: Mythril
  
• Year: 1995
  
• Why I picked it up: I was hoping to find a nice metal band (look at the album artwork and see if I was close). The font, the insignia, the lightning bolts, the purple, come on.

I was amazingly surprised to find that this album is not metal, in any way. Truly, it feels more Purple Haze than purple lightning. This LP has a very strong classic feel, with the lead singer Cavazzini almost channeling Hendrix from time to time. Calm, soothing guitars (occasionally upbeat, which throws a great change up to the mix) along with simple, downplayed drums, and solid bass lines--combined with the great vocals--make this album far better than what I had expected. The classic rock feel is so great that I could not help but bob my head to the tunes. The funky instrumental--which the liner notes say was recorded in one sitting--at the end puts a perfect finale to the album.

My Thrill is Mythril.

• Standout track: G-Spot Groove
  
• MySpace: N/A
  
• How much I would've paid: $10
  
• Rating: 4/5