Songs from Yes and No

• Artist: Andy Ditzler
  
• Album: Songs from Yes and No
  
• Year: 2005
  
• Why I picked it up: The cover was a pretty interesting simple drawing of a map, leading me to believe it might be more arty than your typical album.

This is not a music album in the traditional sense. To quote the liner notes, "Yes and No is a multimedia theater work which includes the songs on this album." Ok, so I picked up a soundtrack by mistake. No big deal, right? Wrong. While I'm not making any comment on Yes and No as a theater work, the music itself is simply not tolerable as a stand-alone work. After fifty minutes of listening to Andy Ditzler crone on about what's strange about American culture and economics and such, you'll be itching to put on something else. Don't get me wrong, as far as a musical achievement, it's certainly well-done, with good composition, instrumentation, and even good if too-clear lyrics. The problem is one of cheesiness and lack of context.

Don't get this unless you saw the theater work and liked it. (Based on the album itself, I wouldn't be surprised if that's a null set, but hey, you never know.)

• Standout track: Citizens
  
• MySpace: Andy Ditzler
  
• How much I would've paid: $0
  
• Rating: 1/5

"Sink" Sounds Like "Stink"

• Artist: Eulogy
  
• Album: The Sinking of the Navigator
  
• Year: 2003
  
• Why I picked it up: Album artwork consists of pictures of an abandoned mental hospital in a style that seems like it should be some type of neat subdued rock.

Allow me to put forward a radical hypothesis that would get me killed among hardcore music nerds: Eulogy would sound better if they played Rock Band more often. Mind you, I don't mean that Rock Band can teach you to be a musician, but it can certainly teach you to be a better one. Unfortunately, Eulogy's members can't handle the jobs each position requires. The singer can't hold a pitch, and could use the nice pitch-tracks in Rock Band to get better at that. The drummer can't figure out what a rhythm is, something else Rock Band could help with. The guitarists don't know how to tune, which admittedly Rock Band can't help out with, but at least it can make them know what tuned guitars sound like. I almost feel like the members of Eulogy have heard of music, but they've never actually heard what it sounds like. Maybe that's a little harsh, but it's what they deserve for forming a band made entirely of tone-deaf musicians.

On second thought, maybe they represent a charity for tone-deaf musicians, and my money actually went to help make that worthy cause. Yeah, let's go with that.

• Standout track: The Sinking of the Navigator
  
• MySpace: Eulogy
  
• How much I would've paid: $1 for the last track
  
• Rating: 1/5