Igor and the Whale

Something More My Style

2009-08-01T13:51:00.003-04:00

Artist: Between Home And Serenity
Album: Power Weapons In The Complex
Year: 2005
Why I picked it up: I don't really know. It just looked nice. The band name felt like something I might like, the cover was plain but unique... Whatever

Between Home And Serenity is a band which produces a contemporary post-hardcore sound, and while this is more of what I would generally listen to myself, there's little that makes this band stand out--besides the fact that they don't play their sound all too well. All the songs sound similar (with quite a few even having much too similar opening riffs), with a generic (although poor) singing voice (I even caught him miss a note once or twice), not too powerful scream, and weak bass lines. Although, the guitar work (nice riffs and good mixing of heavier sounds and breakdowns) and drumming is solid, but the poor performances from the singer and bassist really detract from their contributions. There are no really profound lyrics to save them, either, as they offer pearls of wisdom such as "this visible camouflage is visible to the eyes," which really doesn't mean anything. If they were trying to be ironic, it fell short. If they were trying to be deep, they ought to step out of the pond first. The uninspired emo breakdown in the middle of "Words Unspoken" was just too cliché for me to handle, and I had to walk away from the album for a while.

This is a genre I love, and this band does not do it justice. For similar contemporary post-hardcore (done well), go to bands like We Are the Ocean, Silverstein (older stuff, especially), A Breach On Heaven, or Drop Dead, Gorgeous first.

Standout track: To Redefine
MySpace: Between Home And Serenity
How much I would've paid: $2
Rating: 2/5

It's easy to hum a Sweet Little Song

2009-07-28T16:19:00.004-04:00

Artist: The Elktones
Album: Small Town
Year: 2002
Why I picked it up: It gave off really really strong country vibes, and I was in the mood for some good country (like, Willis Alan Ramsey) when I was buying.

The Elktones produce an upbeat poppyish country (not really so much the contemporary pop-country, but folksy country with a happy feeling) sound. It's very enjoyable and I do really enjoy listening to it. There are plenty of people out there who do not even want to give country music a chance (probably why this was in the bargain bin), but if they were to listen to something like The Elktones (while they don't play pure country, it is enough country to scare off the country-phobes) these people would find themselves enjoying the music, and may continue on to actually enjoy country and seek it out. With plenty of acoustic guitar, smooth vocals, solid percussion work, and a splash of electric guitar and banjo the Elktones made a very nice, enjoyable sound on this CD, which would definitely appeal to many of those who "can't stand country music."

The liner notes mention that no animals were harmed during the making of this album, which--while a nice sentiment--should not need to be stated. Are they suggesting that all the other albums I've bought were produced while the artists tortured little puppies? Makes me wonder what these Elktones were really doing...

Standout track: Sweet Little Song
MySpace: The Elktones
How much I would've paid: $8
Rating: 4/5

Two-For-One

2009-07-13T18:00:00.004-04:00

Artist: Red Animal War, Slowride
Album: Red Animal War|Slowride
Year: 2002
Why I picked it up: When I first looked at it it seemed like a rather boring cover, until I looked at the back cover and the inside of the insert. The album artwork and the CD artwork all had something relating to the Kennedy assassination, which was a cool concept for the album art.

Whoops, I accidentally bought a split EP, so there are two artists on this album, not one. Oh well, you guys are getting a special two-for-one edition of Igor and the Whale (which is good, since Igor doesn't seem to like to update over the summer). Red Animal War has a really nice sound, with punk rock vocals and catchy lyrics, sung along excellent guitar riffs, solid and varied drums, and a consistently strong (although subtle) bass line. Somewhat complimenting them, Slowride is a strong rock band, with good driving guitars, steady drums, and a nice bassist and singer. The problem is that the way the EP is laid out--with the tracks by each artist alternating one after another--makes the Red Animal War tracks way overshadow the Slowride tracks. The Slowride tracks aren't bad, it's just that when the were played between Red Animal War tracks they don't stand out enough on their own.

I really enjoyed Red Animal War (it was very tough to choose a standout track among their three, I liked them all), I hope to get more of their stuff sometime.

Red Animal War

Standout track: Modus Operendi
MySpace: Red Animal War
Rating: 4/5

Slowride

Standout track: Dear John
MySpace: Slowride
Rating: 3/5
How much I would've paid: $6 (mostly for the Red Animal War tracks)

It Seems Like Something My Dad Would Like

2009-07-05T13:34:00.003-04:00

Artist: The Palladinos
Album: Travelling Dark
Year: 1994
Why I picked it up: The cover had a very pretty stained glass picture on it of a woman walking a path of brightly colored rocks, and I thought it looked interesting. There was an offhand chance that it might be metal.

The Palladinos have a sound which is very noteable, but I'm having trouble describing it. It's one of those banana/pomegranate issues, if you will. It's a folksy rock sound, I guess. I keep getting strong hippie vibes as I listen to it (but not in a trippy way). The vocalists have very strong and steady voices, and they're obviously very secure in their sound. The mandolin on the handful of tracks it is featured in is pretty nifty. Overall, pretty nice slow-ish calm rock that is appealing, if a little dated.

What's cool is that in the liner notes, next to each song's title is the key in which it was written.

Standout track: Moon On The Motorway
MySpace: N/A
How much I would've paid: $2
Rating: 3/5

Three Guitarists, a Bassist, a Singer, and a Drummer

2009-07-01T18:51:00.004-04:00

Artist: Circuit
Album: Eau De Humanity
Year: 2006
Why I picked it up: The cover has a bottle floating in what I assume is the perfume "Eau De Humanity." I wondered what the smell of humanity sounded like... I think.

Circuit is a typical rock band that plays a very classic guitar focused sound, which is full of complex riffs that display the guitarists' talents. The vocalist has the common powerful, mid ranged voice that is found in classic rock. What I find to be the biggest fault in the band is that the bass, drums, and keyboards that are listed in the liner notes are very insubstantial. However, the collection of songs is, nonetheless, very strong. The album contains power anthems, as well as the rock ballads with the changed up slower tempo and dampened vocals. Circuit also has their fair share of harder post-grunge/alt rock songs (with slightly less technical guitar riffs) of the type that filled the late 90s so much.

I guess my final verdict on the "Eau De Humanity" is... that it smells nice?

Standout track: Reasoning
MySpace: Circuit
How much I would've paid: $5
Rating: 3/5

"Hard working and underslept, But lazy at heart"

2009-06-24T13:33:00.004-04:00

Artist: Small Sins
Album: Mood Swings
Year: 2007
Why I picked it up: The image of the short barreled gun on the cover was interesting, and it wrapped around the case to the back following the trajectory of the bullet and I liked it. Seemed like possibly some punk rock.

Small Sins was not what I was expecting, but I'm far from disappointed. It's a nice calming indie rock, often with electronic overtones. The sound frequently gave off a strong Killers vibe, which was really nice. The album contains a really good mix of up-beat songs, such as the heavily electronic "Drunk E-Mails" or the less electronic but slightly country-tinged "On The Run," and slower songs, like the downtrodden "We Will Break Our Own Hearts" or "On A Mission." It has a high chance to become a common listening staple on my iPod. As with Morello and Angel and the Love Mongers previously, I highly suggest Small Sins.

What's really sweet is that the CD came with two bonus tracks on the CD extra portion, an acoustic version of "I Need A Friend" and a string mix of "Bullets."

Standout track: On The Line
MySpace: Small Sins
How much I would've paid: $10
Rating: 4/5

No es español

2009-06-16T23:34:00.004-04:00

Artist: Soft Complex
Album: Barcelona+
Year: 2006
Why I picked it up: The artwork gave off a nice electronic vibe, something I was in the mood for.

I'm going to guess that at some time Soft Complex released an EP called Barcelona. It had three tracks: Barcelona, Sad Note, and Beat the Chill. I hypothesize this because Barcelona+ also has these three tracks, as well as five remixes of the tracks. Fortunately, the three original tracks are all quite excellent in their own ways. Sadly, not all of the remixes fare as well. Some, like the Person Autopilot remix of Sad Note, are quite excellent. Others, like both remixes of Barcelona, aren't nearly as good––surprising, since Barcelona is probably the best of the original three tracks.

In the end, it's a good collection of songs, although I wish that it had been entirely Soft Complex's work, as they seem to be the best of the bunch.

Standout track: Barcelona
MySpace: Soft Complex
How much I would've paid: $6
Rating: 3/5

Too slow for it's own good

2009-06-14T13:00:00.002-04:00

Artist: The New Monarchs
Album: Blueprints
Year: 2008
Why I picked it up: The simplistic cover drew me in, but the saying on the inside captured me: "A door cannot escape the space in which it turns." It seemed like the kind of saying that doesn't really mean anything, but you like to hear it.

The New Monarchs are an ok electronic duo who provide a nice sound, with heavy dance beats, fun background music, and generally clean vocals. They're, overall, an ok band. That being said, there are quite a few drawbacks to this album. Often the speed of the vocals don't match the speed of the beats or background instrumentals, which is off putting. Their brand of music suffers from the general plague of electronica: repetition, each track cycles too much and after the first listen--when the song is new for the first time--it becomes too much of a bother. With the first listen it seems like a good or so record, but with subsequent listens the little annoyances stand out more and more, and the album becomes sullied. This is kind of the opposite of my 46bliss review a few weeks ago. Once you're slightly used to the songs, the repetition in them becomes too much to accept.

I guess this isn't the album you're supposed to listen to constantly, but rather sample it every once in a while--then it'll feel good and new again.

Standout track: You'll Always Know
MySpace: The New Monarchs
How much I would've paid: $2
Rating: 2/5

I think Chris Trapper has self-image issues

2009-06-13T22:44:00.003-04:00

Artist: Chris Trapper
Album: Hey, You
Year: 2006
Why I picked it up: The instrument list gave off a strong indie/acoustic rock vibe, with a few standard instruments and a few more unusual ones (what is a bouzouki anyways?)

Overall, this is a pretty good album. A decent part of me, however, would love to just write a typical "generic but decent rock" review, but somehow that doesn't seem fair. While on the surface the music is in fact nothing more than generic rock, something about it seems deeper. It's hard to describe, really, although it no doubt has a lot to do with Trapper's truly inspired orchestration. The album's biggest failing is that most of the songs sound pretty similar, giving it that samey flavor that makes so many albums forgettable. Fortunately, this album seems like it'll stand up better given time than many others.

Incidentally, a bouzouki is a Greek stringed instrument similar to a mandolin. The more you know!

Standout track: Feelings Without Weight
MySpace: Chris Trapper
How much I would've paid: $6
Rating: 4/5

Typical, Just Typical

2009-06-08T08:17:00.006-04:00

Artist: The Adored
Album: A New Language
Year: 2006
Why I picked it up: From the cover and such it gave off a large new wave rock vibe that I figured I would dig. Here's hoping...

Yup, The Adored's sound is the very mainstream new wave/powerpop/indie rock that so many bands nowadays are working with. Amongst all these other bands with similar sounds, The Adored do not stand out in any way. Their vocalist sounds so overly generic, and musically it's completely typical. If you haven't listened to any of the new mainstream sound, The Adored would be a good introduction, but you could quickly move on to bigger and better bands. If you already have your favorite powerpop/rock band decided, The Adored will not break through into your music collection.

It's not all that bad, really, just unoriginal and the songs sound quite alike.

Standout track: Chemistry
MySpace: The Adored
How much I would've paid: $5
Rating: 3/5

When I look out my window, I see Joan of Arc go by

2009-06-01T18:01:00.005-04:00

Artist: 46bliss
Album: Wish Me Away
Year: 2008
Why I picked it up: The cute cover of a doll curled up by a window on a rainy day was a nice imagery which appealed to me and I wanted to check it out

46bliss provides a very ethereal electronica sound on this album, which reminds me of Air and their ambient electronica enough to keep me going through the album. When I first listened to it I wasn't a fan, but with each subsequent listen it grew on me and I hold it in high favors now. The beats are solid; the vocalist can really sing, both clearly and with nice electronic distortion when he wants; the instrumentation is varied, something a lot of electronica bands fail to do well; and each track remains poppy enough to become catchy, again, unlike a lot of electronica.

So, yeah ambient electronica. If you know you enjoy the genre, check this out. If you don't, who knows, this album might change your mind.

Standout track: Joan Of Arc
MySpace: 46bliss
How much I would've paid: $5
Rating: 4/5

Incus Always Eyes

2009-06-01T15:39:00.003-04:00

Artist: Incus
Album: Fire and Bone
Year: 2008
Why I picked it up: The cover was a really awesome picture of a flying eye in the middle of a lot of fire. C'mon, that's pretty sweet.

Incus is a very peculiar but excellent band. I knew I had something unique on my hand when my computer returned "Unclassifiable" as the genre (I've decided it counts as "Ethnic", though). Incus's music is influenced very heavily by that of the Middle East, with the same general sound that you would expect. This is mixed with a few more western sounds, creating a hybrid that sounds not unlike some of Beirut's work. It's a little weird, and the lead singer's vocals aren't always as good as they could be, but overall this is a phenomenal work by a band that should receive more publicity than they are.

Also, quick question: since when is "eyes" a verb?

Standout track: Weight (Wait)
MySpace: Incus
How much I would've paid: $8
Rating: 4/5

Do King Cobras?

2009-05-24T15:14:00.002-04:00

Artist: Vending Machine
Album: King Cobras Do
Year: 2007
Why I picked it up: The drawings on the covers looked like little kid drawings, which was fun and gave the impression that there might be nice indie rock inside.

Vending Machine is the name for the very nice alternative rock artist Robby Grant, and he has quite a unique sound. I fail to describe it, but I certainly do enjoy listening to him. His sound consists of nice synths, guitars, drums, and other typical instruments, with the synth (when he employs the use of a synth) and vocals being especially excellent. The album starts off amazingly with quite a few excellent upbeat tracks, but it goes down hill halfway through, and the later tracks do not measure up to the quality of the first few.

Yeah, I can't really think of more to say about this CD. It's good, and that's that.

Standout track: Babies
MySpace: Vending Machine
How much I would've paid: $5
Rating: 3/5

Antisynth

2009-05-24T13:16:00.003-04:00

Artist: El Ten Eleven
Album: These Promises are Being Videotaped
Year: 2008
Why I picked it up: I was in the mood for some electronica, and the cover art certainly gives off that vibe.

Not just a poor attempt at Spanglish, El Ten Eleven is a pretty decent electronic band. The music tends to be a bit repetitive, although that is par for the course in the genre. That said, the 27 minute album is quite good. Interestingly, unlike most electronica, the band seems to stay away from synthesizers, relying instead on electric guitars. This even carries through to an unexpected electronic cover of Radiohead's phenomenal "Paranoid Android." That cover, by the way, is probably one of the album's high points, despite the fact that it only sounds like the source material for about a minute.

On a side note to the makers of the artwork: please do not make the inside so bright. You're hurting my eyes.

Standout track: Jumping Frenchmen of Maine
MySpace: El Ten Eleven
How much I would've paid: $7
Rating: 4/5

Magnethead

2009-05-19T19:03:00.003-04:00

Artist: Magnet School
Album: Tonight We Drink... Tomorrow We Battle The Evil At Hand
Year: 2007
Why I picked it up: I was feeling in the mood for some electronica, and the disco ball on the cover led me to believe at worse I'd be getting some club dance music.

Magnet School is very competent rock highly reminiscent of Radiohead and similar bands. To a lot of people––myself included––this is a very good thing (I rank OK Computer in my top five albums of all time). That said, they have their own sound a lot of the time as well, but it's hard to not draw comparisons when listening to the larger-than-life guitars and vocals that sound like they're simply fighting to be heard. Ultimately, the album boils down to what so many of these albums do: it's an enjoyable listen, but you won't remember it for long. If you're a big fan of the sound, though, I recommend you track down this album.

Fun fact: This album is put out by the label "Exploded Hooker Music".

Standout track: Seventensplit
MySpace: Magnet School
How much I would've paid: $5
Rating: 3/5

I have never heard the N-word said so much previously in my life

2009-05-19T15:12:00.004-04:00

Artist: Krazy
Album: Breather Life
Year: 2001
Why I picked it up: The cover looked very simple, but intense, with the red and black mixing in an interesting way, I was hoping it was metal. And, the front cover had a Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics sticker on it, so I guessed that it would be fun.

Goddamn was I wrong. Krazy is rap. Gangsta rap. Bad gangsta rap. Krazy's lyrics are not subtle in the least, his rhymes (when he chooses to rhyme) are not especially clever, and his part in most of the songs sound exactly the same. The only reason the tracks sound any different from each other is that some feature a different rapper or R&B artist on it to mix it up. The best part of any song is not Krazy, but the other artists featured on it, which is especially sad. The electronic beats are nice, but the monotonic typical rap is bland. If this were a collection of songs by the featured artists--having cut out Krazy's rapping--it might be deserving of a three, but since it's Krazy's album and he raps on each track... I guess it's apt to follow Igor and the Whale's first five with our first zero.

If you think this review is underly-critical, please remember, Krazy might kill me

Standout track: Get Bucked
MySpace: Krazy
How much I would've paid: $0
Rating: 0/5

Pottery People

2009-05-10T17:51:00.003-04:00

Artist: The Henry Clay People
Album: For Cheap or For Free
Year: 2008
Why I picked it up: The ever-present quest for indie rock continues in the album artwork. That, and The Whale didn't want it because of a big-ass sticker on the front.

The quest for excellent indie rock finally ends with The Henry Clay People, a truly amazing collection of 11 fantastic songs. It's pretty standard affair: guitars, drums, vocals, with a few more instruments thrown in for good measure. All of the instrumentation clicks, and nothing feels out of place. Of course, even a good album can suffer with poor vocals, but lead singer Andy Siara sounds nearly identical to Craig Minowa of Cloud Cult, a band I truly love. Of course, not everyone will agree, but I think that The Henry Clay People are well deserving of Igor and the Whale's first five.

To replace the indie quest, I'll next be searching for Swedish death electrocountry. Stay tuned!

Standout track: Rock and Roll Has Lost Its Teeth
MySpace: The Henry Clay People
How much I would've paid: $15
Rating: 5/5

Genre Defying

2009-05-10T12:42:00.009-04:00

Artist: Mistress Stephanie and Her Melodic Cat
Album: Take That!
Year: 2009
Why I picked it up: I had to. The front and back cover art were priceless. And, I noted that it said it was printed and released in 2009, which rose the question as to why it was already in the bargain bin. I just had to hear it.

So many times while listening to this I just wondered "What the hell is this?" Mistress Stephanie and Her Melodic Cat thoroughly destroy any genres I tried to place them into. Occasionally they're electronica, then they suddenly turn to hard rock, followed by some cabaret, and then a poppy-ish song comes up, and so on until they've played every sound possible. Along with these many genres comes... a surprisingly good CD, and not in just a laughable manner. The songs are pretty far out there lyrically and they are still able to hold themselves up instrumentally. Their synth sounds--on the songs which have them--are very well done, the keyboards are great, and their range of other instruments are strong enough to support the main draw of the band, the lyricists. The female vocalist (Mistress Stephanie) has a voice which fits the sound of the band very well, and the male vocalist (Her Melodic Cat) sings with a droning, slightly accented voice that continues to accentuate the sound of the band. They are certainly a shocking band, and their image is definitely what they are trying to use as the main draw to their band, but they do have something more behind the leather and whips, which makes this album a fun listen.

The case says that it's made out of 100% recycled plastic. That's a plus.

Standout tracks: Get Off My Chest, Awfully Confusing
MySpace: Mistress Stephanie and Her Melodic Cat
How much I would've paid: $5
Rating: 3/5

Just tell them you're busy that night

2009-05-05T15:56:00.002-04:00

Artist: The Smithereens
Album: A Date With The Smithereens
Year: 1994
Why I picked it up: The cover gave off the strong vibe that it would be some sort of rock, possibly hard rock or punk, and it looked classic enough that I would enjoy it.

The Smithereens are more from the hard-rock/post-grunge sound of the early 90s that was completely played out back then. The sound wasn't fantastic back then, and it's still not so great today. The Smithereens can do this sound as good as any other does, but that doesn't let them stand out in any way. It feels like every song is very similar, with the reverbed guitars, slow and steady drums, unsubstantial bass, and droning vocals spouting emotional and "dark" lyrics. It's pretty evident that the singer is trying to break up before this Date is even through. Each track's lyrics are sad or depressing, but since the general singing style in this genre is this low, sad, droning voice, the lyrics' point gets lost. Overall, not worth it. If you like the genre, this will be too much of the average to become a staple in your listening line up.

Two quick dating tips: don't tell her you two are "going nowhere" and don't tell her that "love is gone."

Standout track: Love Is Gone
MySpace: The Smithereens
How much I would've paid: $2
Rating: 2/5

I usually sunburn when I sun dry

2009-05-04T16:40:00.005-04:00

Artist: The Surf The Sundried
Album: The Surf The Sundried
Year: 2003
Why I picked it up: My quest for indie rock continued yet again with yet another indie rock-ish cover.

This one's actually a pretty tricky one to write. The Surf The Sundried have a very nice sound, with quiet acoustic guitar, subdued drums, and very excellent vocals. About half of the album is standard-but-excellent quiet indie rock. The problem is the other half of the album, which is much more in the realm of noise. Sometimes noise can work, but other times it really doesn't. The mixture of truly excellent music with dissidence simply isn't one that works out very well, which really hurts the album. At over an hour long, this misstep turns into a major problem.

Also, can we pass a law forbidding untitled tracks? Thanks.

Standout track: Stealth Bomber
MySpace: The Surf The Sundried
How much I would've paid: $5
Rating: 3/5

Songs from Yes and No

2009-04-26T14:58:00.006-04:00

Artist: Andy Ditzler
Album: Songs from Yes and No
Year: 2005
Why I picked it up: The cover was a pretty interesting simple drawing of a map, leading me to believe it might be more arty than your typical album.

This is not a music album in the traditional sense. To quote the liner notes, "Yes and No is a multimedia theater work which includes the songs on this album." Ok, so I picked up a soundtrack by mistake. No big deal, right? Wrong. While I'm not making any comment on Yes and No as a theater work, the music itself is simply not tolerable as a stand-alone work. After fifty minutes of listening to Andy Ditzler crone on about what's strange about American culture and economics and such, you'll be itching to put on something else. Don't get me wrong, as far as a musical achievement, it's certainly well-done, with good composition, instrumentation, and even good if too-clear lyrics. The problem is one of cheesiness and lack of context.

Don't get this unless you saw the theater work and liked it. (Based on the album itself, I wouldn't be surprised if that's a null set, but hey, you never know.)

Standout track: Citizens
MySpace: Andy Ditzler
How much I would've paid: $0
Rating: 1/5

This is an Action Figure Party that is worth opening those mint condition Star Wars figurines

2009-04-26T13:12:00.003-04:00

Artist: Action Figure Party
Album: Action Figure Party
Year: 2001
Why I picked it up: The album art has fun imagery of an action figure with two torches, breathing fire, and the name was Action Figure Party, I was hoping it would end up being some comedic poppy music.

This album is very good. There, I said it. It has catchy tunes and its got a sound that would make an amazing background soundtrack to any work you have to do. The jazz pianist that plays on the album is truly amazing. The songs which do have lyrics are really superb, the vocals delivering a nice smooth addition to the jazzy backgrounds, and the instrumental jazz sessions are truly phenomenal, with the only drawback being that the same melodies and sounds tend to be recycled just a bit too often by every instrument except the keyboards. The slow tracks like "Green" also bring down the album, as they do not provide the required poppy hooks of the other tracks to make it listen-to-able.

A very nice piano-focused jazz sound with excellent sax, keyboards, guitar and more.

Standout track: Where's The Moment
MySpace: N/A
How much I would've paid: $3
Rating: 4/5

"Fallatious words of a snake"

2009-04-20T19:01:00.003-04:00

Artist: Two Ton Boa
Album: Parasiticide
Year: 2006
Why I picked it up: The album cover was really cool, with a gorgon like-head, only some snake heads are replaced with plugs, which adds to the image of the electricity pylons in the background

Two Ton Boa is a competent rock band with a unique sound. Unique, but not always great. There are certainly a few tracks which are definitely very well done, but there are also enough tracks which simply shouldn't have been recorded. The trite bass lines are too simplistic to be drawing, and the guitar also ends up being typically too downplayed. There is much too much focus on the vocalist, and since she's not such a good singer--she has two styles: low & droning or high & soft--this equates to many songs not being up to par.

The lead singer also plays the bass, it's a shame she's not too good at either.

Standout track: Cyanide
MySpace: Two Ton Boa
How much I would've paid: $1
Rating: 2/5

PETA Hates These Guys

2009-04-19T15:08:00.005-04:00

Artist: Ape Hangers
Album: Ultrasounds
Year: 1995
Why I picked it up: The album artwork is a good retro-50s throwback style drawing which I liked a lot.

The Ape Hangers are a pretty good rock band with an almost oldies/surf rock feel to them, albeit a revived and heavier oldies. This is one of those albums that'll have you tapping along to the beats and rocking out. Sure, it's not deep musically or even terribly good, but it's fun. There's music that opens your eyes and changes the way you view what music is, and there's music that just makes you want to smile and dance. This is the latter.

Incidentally, I store fur coats on ape hangers. *rim shot*

Standout track: Red Hot Rocket
MySpace: Ape Hangers
How much I would've paid: $4
Rating: 4/5

Duct Tape and a Gun

2009-04-11T14:06:00.003-04:00

Artist: Ominous Seapods
Album: The Super Man Curse
Year: 2000
Why I picked it up: The cover has a pretty good picture of the band members watching ~~Clark Kent~~ a Super Man take off. (I see what you did there.)

The Ominous Seapods are a pretty competent rock band with heavy guitar tracks and liberal use of a wah-wah pedal, and the occasional bit of brass thrown in. Overall, it adds up to a pretty good, if slightly generic rock. The biggest issue is that after the disc is done, not many of the songs stick around in the mind. The only highly-memorable song is the comedy track "Bong Hits & Porn," although it is by no means their best. The album also comes with a fantastic three-track live disc, including a great rendition of "Ziggy Stardust." Sure, it's not Bowie himself, but it's still a great listen.

Well, it's Saturday afternoon, I'm gonna go do some bong hits and porn.

Standout track: Money to Burn
MySpace: Ominous Seapods
How much I would've paid: $5
Rating: 3/5

"I don't want to be imaginary"

2009-04-11T13:18:00.003-04:00

Artist: Angel and the Love Mongers
Album: The Humanist Queen
Year: 2007
Why I picked it up: A friend recommended it when she found it in the store. The long, thin neck of the devilish woman was appealing.

Angel Zuniga has a wonderful, distinctive voice. The smooth rock that Angel and the Love Mongers play is very wonderful, with solid and strong bass lines, excellent guitar riffs when they come, and drumming that can remain secure and varied while not overpowering any other instruments. The band also brings in numerous other artists to provide background vocals and more instruments ranging from keyboards to a mandolin. The songs on the album range from being upbeat with "The Humanist Queen" to slower and heavier tracks such as "Let It Be Done," and with mid tempo songs between like "Nikki Hart."

I'll bow to The Humanist Queen

Standout track: The Humanist Queen
MySpace: Angel and the Love Mongers
How much I would've paid: $10
Rating:

4/5

Mediocrity Incarnate

2009-03-31T21:32:00.004-04:00

Artist: Dave Baker
Album: Dance of the Iguana
Year: 1995
Why I picked it up: C'mon, it's called "Dance of the Iguana." Let me give that a moment to sink in. Dance of the Iguana.

Dance of the Iguana is a collection of instrumental smooth jazz, ranging from hypnotically soothing to relatively upbeat. Perhaps the most stand-out thing about the album is how mundane it is. Nothing about the album stands out, either for good or bad. The music is great for what it is, but quite frankly smooth jazz has never been known for being terribly gripping or memorable. It's also not exactly brilliant, as most of the songs sound similar and Dave Baker's sound fades from memory by the time the album comes to a close. This is perhaps the epitome of music that will sound good to people who love the genre, and terrible to people who don't.

I personally find the music soothing, but not usually what I'm looking for. Your mileage will vary.

Standout track: If You Only Knew
MySpace: Dave Baker
How much I would've paid: $3
Rating: 3/5

More Morello, Please

2009-03-30T15:05:00.007-04:00

Artist: Morello
Album: Twelve Ways To Breathe
Year: 2006
Why I picked it up: The album art was really interesting, with an anatomical image of a person and inking in parts of the sides. It gave off a strong punk/post-hardcore vibe that I felt I would enjoy.

Morello has a very nice sound which I truly love. The mix of clean, gruff, and shouted vocals in this style of post-hardcore is amazing. The guitar riffs are wonderous, the bass lines are solid, and the drumming compliments the other sounds amazingly--even if it does get a little weak at times. The album is phenomenal, with the only downside being that some of the songs sound too similar, with little variation between them.

If Thursday and Rise Against were to have a bastard child, he would sound like Morello.

Standout track: Fade Out
MySpace: Morello
How much I would've paid: $13
Rating: 4/5

"Inspiral" is not a word

2009-03-22T13:31:00.004-04:00

Artist: Inspiral Carpets
Album: The Beast Inside
Year: 1991
Why I picked it up: I wasn't sure if "inspiral" was a word, and I wanted to remember to check.

Inspiral Carpets is a fantastic early-90s rock group with an equal mix of guitar, vocals, and synthesizer. Their music is active and full of momentum, even if that sometimes conflicts with the lyrics. Even though it sometimes seems like the music is too upbeat for the frequently dark subject matter, it somehow works. The album does falter a bit near the end, particularly with the too-slow "Niagara", but other than that the album is an exemplar of early-90s synth rock.

Fun fact: The band Oasis took their name from an Inspiral Carpets poster. Thanks, Wikipedia!

Standout track: Beast Inside
MySpace: Inspiral Carpets
How much I would've paid: $10
Rating: 4/5

Do emotional fish cry saltwater tears?

2009-03-22T11:56:00.008-04:00

Artist: An Emotional Fish
Album: An Emotional Fish
Year: 1990
Why I picked it up: The band's name is An Emotional Fish. An Emotional Fish. How could I resist?

With a calm, soothing rock sound, occasionally mixed with a southern rock or funk tinge, An Emotional Fish provides a wonderful ambient sound to listen to as you work. What's upsetting about them is that they don't leave too much of an impression. While listening to them you get a feeling that An Emotional Fish is a really good band, but once a song ends it's forgotten. The instrumentation is typically simplistic--with uninspired guitar riffs when the come--but mixed together it sounds very well done. The vocals are very clear and powerful, but the lyrics tend towards being a tad boring and tiring. They have a good sound, that's for sure, but they need to make themselves stand out more.

They just fall in line with other U2 sound-alikes.

Standout track: Grey Matter
MySpace: An Emotional Fish
How much I would've paid: $3
Rating: 3/5

"It's like a bubble"

2009-03-14T20:59:00.011-04:00

Artist: Dinosau
Album: A Little Crime
Year: 2007
Why I picked it up: The album art was really sparse--with merely a picture of the band--but the real draw for me was the band's name. I truly wondered how the band who could't afford the last letter of their name would sound like.

This European (Sweden is my guess from their names) electronica pop band really knows what they're doing, even if they can't finish spelling dinosaur. With a great variety of instruments--the three piece band boasts a wide range of winds and woodwinds, various percussion instruments, guitars and synths, and even rare instruments like the xaphoon (look it up, it's quite cool)--their specific brand of electronic sound is very unique, which is a great positive to all that they offer. The first song has a completely addictive upbeat tune to it, and the other tracks which keep a happy, cheerful feel are just as amazing. The simple, pure lyrics are very well done and the vocalist, Lena Nymark, can certainly sing them as they need to be sung. The only draw back I felt in the album were the slower songs, since they either lacked the full power possible from their repertoire of instruments, or the softer vocals and instruments were overpowered by the strong beats of the songs. This would be a very slight negative, but there are quite a few songs which miss because of this fact. What this equates to is an album of a some very catchy upbeat songs, mixed with a few which will be skipped or forgotten until another upbeat one is reached.

I like a cute girl with an accent.

Standout track: Pärris
MySpace: Dinosau
How much I would've paid: $5
Rating: 3/5

"Sink" Sounds Like "Stink"

2009-03-14T16:34:00.005-04:00

Artist: Eulogy
Album: The Sinking of the Navigator
Year: 2003
Why I picked it up: Album artwork consists of pictures of an abandoned mental hospital in a style that seems like it should be some type of neat subdued rock.

Allow me to put forward a radical hypothesis that would get me killed among hardcore music nerds: Eulogy would sound better if they played Rock Band more often. Mind you, I don't mean that Rock Band can teach you to be a musician, but it can certainly teach you to be a better one. Unfortunately, Eulogy's members can't handle the jobs each position requires. The singer can't hold a pitch, and could use the nice pitch-tracks in Rock Band to get better at that. The drummer can't figure out what a rhythm is, something else Rock Band could help with. The guitarists don't know how to tune, which admittedly Rock Band can't help out with, but at least it can make them know what tuned guitars sound like. I almost feel like the members of Eulogy have heard of music, but they've never actually heard what it sounds like. Maybe that's a little harsh, but it's what they deserve for forming a band made entirely of tone-deaf musicians.

On second thought, maybe they represent a charity for tone-deaf musicians, and my money actually went to help make that worthy cause. Yeah, let's go with that.

Standout track: The Sinking of the Navigator
MySpace: Eulogy
How much I would've paid: $1 for the last track
Rating: 1/5

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2009-03-07T23:40:00.005-05:00

Artist: The Mall
Album: (Emergency at the Everyday)
Year: 2006
Why I picked it up: Artwork was done in ink, so I figured it might be some sort of indie rock.

The Mall is a curiously-named band with two distinguishing characteristics. The first and worst is the singer's highly-distorted vocals. It doesn't sound so much like a well-distorted sound as it does the singer standing too close to the microphone. Maybe he was standing too close to drown out the other patrons at the mall? Fortunately, the second aspect partly salvages the nineteen-minute album: the band's synthesizer technique. It's catchy, it's fun, and it sounds vaguely like an early 8-bit Nintendo chiptune. Sadly the synth can't save the album entirely, but those with strong resistance to grating vocals will probably find something to like.

(Oh, and if you're wondering about the title, it's the name of the closing track.)

Standout track: A Question of Balance
MySpace: The Mall
How much I would've paid: $0
Rating: 2/5

"A Festival of Yesterdays"

2009-03-07T23:22:00.019-05:00

Artist: Mythril
Album: Mythril
Year: 1995
Why I picked it up: I was hoping to find a nice metal band (look at the album artwork and see if I was close). The font, the insignia, the lightning bolts, the purple, come on.

I was amazingly surprised to find that this album is not metal, in any way. Truly, it feels more Purple Haze than purple lightning. This LP has a very strong classic feel, with the lead singer Cavazzini almost channeling Hendrix from time to time. Calm, soothing guitars (occasionally upbeat, which throws a great change up to the mix) along with simple, downplayed drums, and solid bass lines--combined with the great vocals--make this album far better than what I had expected. The classic rock feel is so great that I could not help but bob my head to the tunes. The funky instrumental--which the liner notes say was recorded in one sitting--at the end puts a perfect finale to the album.

My Thrill is Mythril.

Standout track: G-Spot Groove
MySpace: N/A
How much I would've paid: $10
Rating: 4/5